Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
AFRESH Jess Ian and Bard..
Whenever jess was annoyed at me
it was always Ian
who came to wipe my tears
always had held me in high esteem
he said wait for some time
he is in jungle boots
out to shoot
avoid him a while
just smile
You know now's my time
lilies are for mummies
do also include me ..
as a loving daddy
my young bard
you will just continue
to grow
by now all know
this small bard
has surfaced above the ocean
but the surf doesn't spare anyone
so one day soon enough
you'll come this way
Yes, I know my heart beat asks so
why do you want me to beat fast
how much more do you think
I shall last
so for yourself order lilies fast
'ere I finally blast
mid night past
About This Poem
Last Few Words: Sentimental Lilies are mostly for mummy...
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Seren
2 years 5 months ago
Lovely Tata
This is a lament of times past. It makes me sad to know they aren't here anymore.
It's a comment poem. Have you ever thought? Instead of commenting these then posting as a poem? Save the comment for your poem and rewrite the comment. That was one of Jess's nags with you. Don't fall into bad habits. I won't yell at you or swear but I will push you to be better.
With love J x
lovedly
2 years 5 months ago
SORRY
I will delete it
Candlewitch
2 years 5 months ago
don't delete...
just think about it and rewrite it.
*hugs & love, Cat
Seren
2 years 5 months ago
No never delete! But if you
No never delete! But if you think a comment I'd good enough for a poem please copy it and rewrite the comment.
Hugs I know how you work never take a suggestion as criticism. I'll never swear at you but I will gently push you to be better Tata xxx
OK I am going back to sleep I woke up with this in my hand lol
.
lovedly
2 years 5 months ago
Thank you and Cats
will redo as advised
lovedly
2 years 5 months ago
KIND
Thanks for liking my heart's beat running fastly
lol
Seren
2 years 5 months ago
Tata
A beautiful edit well done.
I'm chuffed and I know the elf would be too
Love J x
lovedly
2 years 5 months ago
yeah thanks Seren
sound the Siren
lovedly desires to meet ye elf
fix the
RV