Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
After the Dance
They took a walk on a Friday night,
Along the beach ‘neath a full moon light.
They had a seat by the old oak tree,
Her head on his shoulder, his hand on her knee
They talked about their hopes and dreams,
And then he talked her right out of her jeans.
Two young lovers just doing what they do,
She was eighteen, he was twenty-two.
He walked her home as she knew he would,
And in the doorway her father stood.
He said, “Hello dear, how was the dance?”
As she tucked her shirt back into her pants.
Her boyfriend noticed her father’s glare,
He looked at the ground to avoid his stare.
A father always seems to know,
He said, “Boy, it’s time for you to go.”
He looked back at her as he walked away,
There wasn’t too much that he could say,
She went to bed with one final thought,
“Will he call me tomorrow or will he not?”
About This Poem
Review Request Direction:
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Not actively editing
Comments
neopoet
12 months ago
Neopoet AI 5-29-23 version
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
It is not feasible to offer feedback.
Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact
Leslie
12 months ago
Stevo
That's pretty damned good! Very creative! Great, great, great. You made my day!
Candlewitch
12 months ago
Dear Stevo,
The story of young love simply told, excellent job!
*hugs, Cat
Stevo
12 months ago
Cat
Thank you so much