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Oct 06, 2022
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After Dinner Mints
All the noise and clamor blares
The brink is close at hand
Even on my best of days
It’s more than I can stand
I throw myself upon the coals
The dinners and the baths
Bickering through homework now
The science and the maths
One day I’ll kill the car seat
Cold blooded, first degree
Those f**king things for thirteen years
My back just simply won’t agree
Crass overstimulation
So now I’ll isolate
Perhaps just far enough away
That I can finally concentrate
I’m holding on to something
I’m waiting now for you
I’m looking back on younger days
Blissful youth when we were two
About This Poem
Last Few Words: I know now why my parents were agitated
Style/Type: Structured: Western
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How does this theme appeal to you?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft
Comments
Lavender
2 years 9 months ago
After Dinner Mints
Hi, Tim,
Those days are long gone for me, but you brought it all back! I can hear the chatter and bustling noises, and feel the high energy. Your rhyme is tight, and your theme is consistent. Wonderful title! A great sense of humor during times that can push us over the edge!
Thank you!
L
Geezer
2 years 9 months ago
The artistically inclined...
almost never have enough time to artistic, if you know what I mean, especially if you have children. I agree that your rhyme is tight, the theme is one that almost anyone of us knows and you have mastered the moment. ~ Geez.
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