brittle light

Oct 30, 2018 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Against All Odds

goddamn fly
tormenting me for hours
in the likes of a post-modern drama

"you're ruining my life" I cried
with all the histrionics
of a possessed James Dean

"I'm on the verge of something special.
quit messing with me"

the fly continued buzzing
like a fighter pilot
I flailed and swatted
like a squirmy little girl

"I hate you, really, really hate you"

I had now become as pouty as
a petulant princess

what started as a skirmish
escalated into a major conflict

the final scene did not end well
for either the fly, or me

no triumph

no hurrahs

both, just exhausted, and

broken

About This Poem

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - draft

About the Author

Region, Country: upstate New York USA, USA

Comments

raj

6 years 8 months ago

Hi Al

good humorous drama unfolded by you in this poem....it was enjoyable to see the optics created by you...because i got a hint about what's happening on the political scene...
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brittle light

6 years 8 months ago

Hi Raj

glad you found facets to enjoy

for more on your "Political" take, see the the reply to Geezer's comment below

thanks for your support

raj

6 years 8 months ago

Yes Al, I did read your

Yes Al, I did read your response to Geezer and find that amusing too...lol..
............................................

Geezer

6 years 8 months ago

raj said it all...

If indeed, it is a political statement, I enjoy the content even more. Of course, there will be those that take sides on which side it falls and be that as it may, I enjoyed it. Especially as you leave the reader to determine the outcome of the battle.Your wry sense of humor almost always hits me on the funny bone and tickles my fancy. Nice job! ~ Geezer.
.

brittle light

6 years 8 months ago

Raj may be onto something

I can imagine:
the fly representing the main stream media
and "me" representing President Trump

or
the other way around (depending on your "religious persuasion")

it becomes kind of a parable.
but it really is just about my battle with a fly

glad it amused you

IRiz

6 years 8 months ago

Hi Al,

Hi Al,
it is so good to have you back!
Even if your protagonists are sad.

I like the last accord in your poem.
It is very strong.
I hear the annoying buzzing.
I relate to both characters, although feel more like that fly. LOL.

brittle light

6 years 8 months ago

Hi Irene

It's good to be back, though I can't say for how long...whoever can?

this is certainly not high poetry but .....
we've got to restock the shelves with something,
or the hungry word craving beasts will become cranky and snarly, and who knows what!

thanks, as always

IRiz

6 years 8 months ago

Don't be too critical to

Don't be too critical to yourself. It kills creativity.
My first drafts are always hidious. But then I have an unfounded hope that editing improves them.

Roscoe Lane

6 years 8 months ago

I believe.

I believe you miss that poor fly, as he was as determined as you. Now he ain't buzzing, but your still swiping. Regards Roscoe...

brittle light

6 years 8 months ago

recounting experiences,

recounting experiences, especially annoying ones, does seem ludicrous
so you are right, I'm still swiping...(away at my guilt?) I shall build a mausoleum to honor its tenacity!

thanks Roscoe

brittle light

6 years 8 months ago