Geremia

Mar 01, 2012 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

AGUA

você é agua
caindo por entre
os dedos.
rio fugindo
não sabendo
onde se parar

WATER

You are water
Falling
Between my fingers
A river fleeing
Not knowing
Where
To stop

About This Poem

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Country/Region: USA

Comments

Nordic cloud

13 years 4 months ago

Superb

C'est tout. Anni

Geremia

13 years 4 months ago

Muito obrigado, minha boa

Muito obrigado, minha boa amiga

Kailashana2

13 years 4 months ago

I lied when I said I'll never

I lied when I said I'll never comment again.

This is what you are capable of. All it ever took was getting off the subject of *I*, a whole new world opens within *you*.

Simply, wonderful mastery in so few eloquent and elegant lines. (And in Portuguese too!.)

Congratulations!

Geremia

13 years 4 months ago

I FORGIVE YOU. All it took

I FORGIVE YOU. All it took was being dumped for "
lesser god", to boot !

weirdelf

13 years 4 months ago

Again I lament my linguistic ignorance

but the english has a japanese elegance and purity [grins]

Geremia

13 years 4 months ago

I thought no one would pick

I thought no one would pick up on that. Kudos to you. Translation doesn't have to be liteeral, but cadence needs to be close. I like my new poetry

Nordic cloud

13 years 4 months ago

Oh I did Joe.

Kailashana2

13 years 4 months ago

There's the art of subtlety

There's the art of subtlety in Haiku.

~Ac

Geremia

13 years 4 months ago

I honestly ddn' t know this

I honestly ddn' t know this was HAKKU. wanted it to be fast and furous like a ragng rveer running underground.

Nordic cloud

13 years 4 months ago

It should not be over

It should not be over explained
as it has its own impetus
within our minds,
its own message
that takes us along with its falling water.
Anni