scribbler

Jan 07, 2013 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

ALIVE

Leaves stampede across the ground
fleeing from the winter cold
they scurry with a rustling sound
as last days of the year unfold

They'll each end their sprint somewhere
some might fetch up on a log
others lift into chill air
perhaps they'll land in a deep bog

This winter wind cuts to the bone
turning sedge fields into seas
little wonder I'm alone
few would brave such cold brisk breeze

I fill my lungs with each deep breath
and ignore aches of old stiff bones
traversing this season of death
through forests where the pine trees moan

The few birds overhead near tumble
as they dip and swerve and dive
through gales that make the bare limbs rumble
what a day to be alive!

About This Poem

Style/Type: Structured: Western

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: South Carolina, United States, USA

Favorite Poets: Frost, Burns, Longfellow, Poe, and Johnson. I guess you've noticed these are all past masters. Other than folks on site I don't read any contemporary poets .

This user supports Neopoet so it can be free to all

Comments

Ian.T

12 years 6 months ago

Stan

A great theme of bouncing leaves, wind blown to their own eternity.
A feeling of being alive amidst the recycling of our foliage.
Here we have in our milder fall worms that drag numerous leaves into the ground, funny to see them sticking there proud in their death, knowing they will feed the Earth again..
Good write I enjoyed the read, Yours Ian.T

scribbler

12 years 6 months ago

Hi Ian

I was walking along the other day and just realized how a cold wind makes one feel alive lol. Thanks for the visit...................stan

loved

12 years 6 months ago

I was scared

didn't read beyond the title
thank god you are...

scribbler

12 years 6 months ago

LOL

I'll be sure to notify all on site when I schedule croaking lmao.................stan

loved

12 years 6 months ago

ignore aches of old stiff bones

ignore aches of old stiff bones.....

keep ALIVE
still
you are a young man
must know counting beads
at least up to 100

in USA and Canada
snow preserves the human skin and nerves
they all live far longer
ladies rarely die
till they are over 90
and you know why...

scribbler

12 years 6 months ago

Hi loved

If old is how one feels there are days when I'm 40 and others when I'm 140 lol.............stan

sueb

12 years 6 months ago

lovely nature poem can feel

lovely nature poem can feel the chill enjoyed x

scribbler

12 years 6 months ago

hi Sue

I'm pleased you liked it and happy you dropped by...........stan

Seren

12 years 6 months ago

ello bro

You created atmosphere and then took us on a chilly brisk walk ... It was 40 degrees here today I wish I was there in the cool ... A great poem I thoughly enjoyed

Love Jc xxx

scribbler

12 years 6 months ago

Hi Jayne

Yeah, I expect this came as a relief for ya'll down yonder where it's mid-summer. Appreciate your visit and you take care...................stan