ALMOST

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet’s AI:

This poem captures a complex emotional state with a concise and intimate tone. The repetition of "I love the way you look at me" at the beginning and end creates a framing effect that emphasizes the speaker's fixation on the gaze, which is a strong structural choice. The phrase "Like you could almost love me" introduces a tension between desire and uncertainty, which is compelling and relatable.

The line "Swindling eons from my mortal life" is particularly evocative, suggesting that the gaze steals time or vitality, which adds a mythic or timeless dimension to the poem. However, the phrase "My heart and mind in mortal strife" feels somewhat generic and could be strengthened by more specific or original imagery to deepen the emotional impact.

The poem's rhythm is mostly smooth, but some lines, such as "Like you will never let me be," could benefit from slight rephrasing or punctuation to enhance flow and clarity. For example, consider whether "Like you will never let me be" conveys the intended meaning clearly—does it imply a comforting presence or a suffocating one? Clarifying this could add depth.

Overall, the poem effectively conveys a bittersweet longing and the ambiguity of near-love, but it would gain from more precise language and a sharper emotional focus in the middle lines to balance the strong opening and closing.

Please send feedback about Neo (our AI critique system) to neopoet.com/contact

Please ignore AI's suggestion about strengthening your poem... I think it is perfect as it is! I usually do not like "love poems" but I find this poem to be the exception to the rule!

fondly, Cat

 with Cat, for the most part, except that you have the word mortal so close in another line. I would suggest that you find some other word to use in either of those lines. ~ Geezer.
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