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Mar 23, 2012
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Alone
Alone
It often feels
like the hardest days
are the ones
that sneak up, unannounced.
As if trumpeting their intentions
could make them any better.
It seems
that on the most difficult days
the world is so very tone deaf,
on those days when more than anything
I need a listening ear.
Why do we treat each other the way we do?
Women are called names,
unborn children are called things,
fathers are absent
and people have no respect for themselves
or each other.
We've one great enemy,
who doesn't have to do a thing
because we're so busy
tearing each other's eyes out.
About This Poem
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Nordic cloud
13 years 3 months ago
...your poem moved me too.
I have just read about Fanny Crosby(1820) who, when she was little, had a quack Dr, put mustard on her eyes turning her blind, what fate. Your poem so well expresses the suppressed anger that she must have held, even if only for a moment, at her fate. Nevertheless she managed to write 8000 or more hymns-her best known is "Blessed Assurance." I am not religious, but this moved me, your poem moved me too.
Nordic cloud.
scribbler
13 years 3 months ago
hi
Well stated rage against the society which sees itself as isolated collection of individuals..........stan
China Blue
13 years 3 months ago
Connect
so very deep but excellent questions put forth in your poem. Why is the key and has been asked over and over. You give the reader pause for thought and reflection on ones actions
loved
13 years 3 months ago
Smile girl and the world will smile with you
Smile girl and the world will smile with you
weep
and
you shall weep alone
that is
was
and
will
be a uniform norm
unchangeable
ever
Candlewitch
13 years 3 months ago
hello,
excellent subject matter from your own personal spin! I really like it!
always, Cat