Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Alone

I’m on my own
so alone
The world is messed up
So why not give up

She’s good
But you treat her bad

Is that your way of saying:
Go to hell and stop praying

Are you dissing
Or just messing

Cause she’s at the end
So tell her all that wasn’t meant

She cries for help
Silently
but that doesn’t help

Give her one reason
and maybe she can live another season

About This Poem

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
[This option has been removed]

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Eastern cape, South Africa

Favorite Poets: Ingrid Jonker

More from this author

Comments

neopoet

neopoet

9 months ago

Neopoet AI 5-29-23 version

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

This poem effectively conveys feelings of loneliness and despair, as well as the complexity of relationships. The repetition of "alone" and the short, fragmented lines create a sense of isolation and emotional turmoil. The contrast between the speaker's feelings of being alone and the mention of someone else being mistreated adds depth to the poem. The use of questions and uncertainty in the latter part of the poem adds to the overall sense of confusion and distress. Consider refining the structure and flow of the poem to enhance its impact and clarity. Additionally, exploring more vivid imagery or specific details could help to further engage the reader and evoke a stronger emotional response.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact