at the altar

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Hi Cryptic, me again.
There’s something here, but at the moment it’s hidden, so it’s not revealing anything? I wonder if being more specific, adding sensory details, even one line grounding the poem in its place might help the reader to visualise what’s at stake rather than just watching?
Initially we read “they” but by the middle of the poem the “they” becomes “you” and I got lost. I have no idea who they and you are here?
We know there’s an altar, a sacrifice, a knife, but there’s no world here so there’s no concern. You have to give us a glimpse of that world, even if it is in one minor detail of the victim, the priest or the altar.
The altar stinks of copper, blood.
Insects circle the bowl.
The priest's cloak, slick at the hem.
The tension in the scene, the idea of ritual or sacrifice is distant without emotional insight. The priest, the only named figure becomes a symbol more than a presence.
I hope this helps but this is only my opinion and I maybe completely off the mark here. Please ignore me if I am. Ruby xx