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Aug 20, 2017
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Alternate Eyes... August Contest/ Rhyme and Rhythm
What if the rain was dry
and the desert sand was wet?
Could I go to bed to wake up
and laugh to be upset?
What if I follow in your footsteps
close upon your heel?
Will you embrace my heart, my love
What if you cannot feel?
What if I told the world a lie
But I told myself the truth
What if I lived backward
went from age to youth?
What if money didn't matter
or the status quo
What if being smart and educated
wasn't what you know?
What if death was the beginning
of a life renewed
What if decay smelled sweet
and satin was thought crude?
What if all the world were crazy
except for me and you?
If there were some sanity
whatever would we do?
What if a thing were easy
but no one ever tried?
What if I lost my laugh
would it matter if I cried?
About This Poem
Last Few Words: I didn't realize how challenging this was going to be. I thought that being a rhymer, I had this one in the bag!
Style/Type: Structured: Western
Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - draft
Comments
brittle light
7 years 10 months ago
Gee
I don't usually comment on poems participating in ongoing workshops or contests,
just wanted to tell you I was here, and enjoyed the poem...good luck
Geezer
7 years 10 months ago
Thanks Al...
Glad that you enjoyed. ~ Gee.
.
scribbler
7 years 10 months ago
Hi Geeze
One of your best in my opinion. It captured, for me, the way the world seems to have turned upside down lately (or down side up? )..........stan
Geezer
7 years 10 months ago
Glad that...
you liked it and hope that the world turns right side up or maybe left side down pretty soon. I'm tired of trying to make sense of it all. ~ Gee.
.
Dooreen Cash
7 years 10 months ago
Hi Geezer
Nice write! This contest is quite the challenge. So I wrote one and it is different. Do I post it straight to the main stream? Would love to enter!
Sparrow
7 years 10 months ago
Gee
Welcome to the easy rhyme a new taste
A place where I walk in grace,
Whoops there I go again Rhyming,
when all I need to do is send.
Words keep coming out in streams, no end.
Never figured out if it was wrong.
Lets get serious and comment true,
The piece you wrote, put me in a stew
Turned my world upside down,
Damn, it changed my smile into a frown.
Now I have put my shoes on my hands
I see the world as it is meant to be.
Try it my friend and you will see.
Let me get away from this demise.
I have a puzzle for you,
I have a full length mirror and it tells me lies.
My right side seems to be left, I am bereft,
is there nothing that is true,
do I look that way to you????
Loves you Gee, great write,
Yours Ian..