Rula

Nov 03, 2015 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

This poem is part of the contest:

THANKS

(Read More...)

Always Content (Thanks Contest)

I'm thankful for the things I have,
and even for the things I don't.
You find this hard to understand,
so let me tell you why and how.

I'm thankful for whate'er God gifts;
the health, the spouse, the kids and more
a million things I ask in prayers,
He might answer, He might not,
for deep in heart I have the faith
(some might not at all agree),
that only what He has to give,
and only that, is good for me.

About This Poem

Style/Type: Structured: Western

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Jordan, JOR

Favorite Poets: I favor the ones who are closer to humanity and , Poets are humanity when the world lose it.

This user supports Neopoet so it can be free to all

Comments

judyanne

9 years 8 months ago

beautiful Rula

A couple of suggestions
'for I have faith down and deep' .... is just a fraction awkward
can you think of another way to say it? - i know you don't like to use other's suggestions, so I'll leave you to think about it

Fourth verse seems a fraction long - can i suggest you drop the ' and how'?

'and million things I ask in prayers' .... make 'and' 'a'

'though some might not wholly agree' ... also seems a tad long...?drop 'wholly'

'and only that is good for me' .... put a comma after 'that'

Best of luck in the contest
love judy
xxx

Rula

9 years 8 months ago

thank you dear Judy

For your thoughts.
Appreciate it.

raj

9 years 8 months ago

Good to read the poem apt in

Good to read the poem apt in the context of the contest theme and approaching Thanksgiving Day and also good to see you and Judy show great sporting spirit by helping each other inspite of both participating in the contest.

Best wishes to both of you.

Rula

9 years 8 months ago

Thank you raj

Can't I convince you to participate :(

raj

9 years 8 months ago

Very sporting of you Rula to

Very sporting of you Rula to offer for me to participate. Thanks for that.

I will keep a tab on how you work on this further. Carry the winning streak of October into November.

Best of luck,

alidzain

9 years 8 months ago

Salam, Rula

I see you put the poem's writing style as ''Structured Western''. I thought it is more to free verse..Anyway this is a good write and I wish you the best for the contest.

Alid

Rula

9 years 8 months ago

Oops

I thought it IS structured.
Thanks for the visit and the comment.

Barbara Writes

9 years 8 months ago

Rula

I like the poem. Like Judy I thought if read awkward in a couple places. Line 4 may read better ad ''so let me explain how''. Since I'm training my brain in grammar and syntax, line 5 seems it should be ''God's gifts''. And
And line 8 read awkward. Hope you the best in the contest. I'm not the best at poetry critique. So if I'm off press on to greatness.

Rula

9 years 8 months ago

thank you barb.

I am unhappy with that line either.
I'll leave it for a while then see what edits needed.
Thank you.

judyanne

9 years 8 months ago

if you'd like my opinion Rula

I would delete verses 3 anf 4 totally
verse 5 reads smoothly from verse 2
and I don't think your narrator needs to explain anything
xxx

Rula

9 years 8 months ago

I understand dear

but you know this feeling when you like some lines (though they might sound rubbish) lol
I tried to keep all in tetrameter. Hope it's working.
STILL I like your suggestion. I might reconsider. You never know. )
Thank you