ample (serious limerick)

the world that we live in has ample to share
with plenty to eat, drink, sample and wear
but poor are still needy
‘cos people are greedy
oh shame, to be selfish with ample to spare

About This Poem

Last Few Words: i missed the workshop - but was intrigued enough to attempt one anyway....

Style/Type: Structured: Western

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Western Australia, AUS

Favorite Poets: Favourite poets? So many, so varied. I like particular songs, not necessarily the singer... and the same goes for poetry. I can honestly say though, that Alfred Noyes' The Highwayman was what inspired my love of poetry - my mother began reading it to me when I was still a baby, and it became my favourite bedtime story

Comments

mand

10 years 6 months ago

Great

Short, succinct, makes your point clearly, ( The three outer lines "share, wear, spare ) are all a bit longer than I'm used to seeing, but it seems to work well - and who am I to say how long they should be!

Nice one!

Love Mand xxxx

judyanne

10 years 6 months ago

as far as i know

the 1st, 2nd, and last verses can be in either trimeter or tetrameter, and the other two should be dimeter, ....
lol - who knows .... maybe jess will call in and let me know

thanks mand
love judy
xxx

lovedly

10 years 6 months ago

ur limys are

as wonderful as you r

lovedly

10 years 6 months ago

ith plenty to eat, drink and sample and wear

two '''ands''
one could be done away with
please review if u wish

judyanne

10 years 6 months ago

thanks loved

for the suggestion. I have dropped one of the 'ands' thank you it does read better, but i kept the other one for the meter

wonderful to receive a second suggestion from you - and you might note here, just as you were on my other write, you have been most helpful

love judy
xxx

lovedly

10 years 6 months ago

grateful

hope Jess will now not say
I pass no worthwhile comments.....
especially when a great poet like you
does acknowledge it

thanks Judy more from you
on mine too

raj

10 years 6 months ago

Judyanne

Seriously a good limerick. Do you think though that you can do away with "ones" in Line 5 after "those"? to me "shame on those with such ample to share" runs smoother..just a thought...

Regards,