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May 03, 2017
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Anapest Exercise Example(Wes's WS)
He has fooled/ his belov/ed along/ with the rest/ of the world
by pretend/-ing to die/ to escape/ from his e/-nemies' wrath
About This Poem
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - draft
Comments
wesley snow
8 years 1 month ago
At first reading this didn't work for me.
However, subsequent readings seemed to indicate it does. I'm not sure what twigs me about it. It is good Anapest.
jane210660
8 years 1 month ago
I don't think it sits quite
I don't think it sits quite right because the phrasing is incorrect. Ignoring whether it's anapest or not,
'He evades from the hands of the law' should read -
' He evades the hand of the law'
You evade something or someone, not evade from them. It would also be the hand of the law, although strictly, the metaphor refers to the arm of the law.
Jx
weirdelf
7 years 12 months ago
Jess the pedantic raises his smug head
the arm of the law is metonymy, not metaphor.
But yes, I agree, we need to read and learn the 'ear' of the various meters without having to stretch and deform out words to meet them.
jane210660
7 years 12 months ago
I stand corrected
oh smug one.
Jxx
alidzain
8 years 1 month ago
HI Wes and Jane
I've done some tweaking. What do you think?
Alid