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Mar 02, 2025
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the to and fro crescent
At the end of the day
Once everything’s done
your stress turns to grey
And your soul's been wrung
You can look to the cosmos
And you know it be soon
Drip away all your sorrows
Because rises the moon
About This Poem
Last Few Words: this is based off the song "rises the moon" by liana Flores, shes an amazing artist and just the quote alone has become a massive part of my life for the past 3 years.
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - draft
Comments
neopoet
3 months 3 weeks ago
Neopoet AI - version 2.0
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
The poem "the too and fro crescent" captures a sense of relief and solace in the imagery of the moon rising at the end of a stressful day. The use of rhyme and rhythm creates a soothing flow that complements the theme of finding peace in nature. However, there are a few areas where the poem could be strengthened.
Consider refining the imagery in the second line to enhance the connection between stress turning to grey and the soul being rung. This will help deepen the emotional impact of these lines. Additionally, the phrase "drip away all your sorrows" could be expanded upon to provide a more vivid and unique description of the act of letting go of worries.
Overall, the poem shows promise in its exploration of finding solace in the natural world, but could benefit from further development of its imagery and emotional depth.
Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact
Lavender
3 months 2 weeks ago
the to and fro crescent
Hello, Zuella,
Simple and lovely language, just like its message. I liked the brevity and the gentle flow of the poem. I did visit Liana Flores' song and video "Rises the Moon." A beautiful inspiration.
I might note the spelling of "too" in the title. I'm not certain of your intention, but I believe it should be "to." And souls, I believe is possessive - "soul's."
What a wonderful final line that I will try to keep with me during these crazy times.
Thank you so much!
L
zuella
3 months 1 week ago
Thank you so much!
Thank you kindly for your response, yeah my language skills and punctuation/grammar is falling apart at the moment, so i'm sorry for that. Thank you for helping and I am throughly glad that you liked it! Yeah, Miss Flores has a truly beautiful voice and she is an amazing poet, so to say. I am glad that the final line hits you as hard as it hits me, I have been using the quote for years and I have always thought that it really defines me, so i'm glad I could spread the love that I have for it.