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Eumolpus
Eumolpus
Sep 11, 2018 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

And You Touch Back

We wear each other’s reflection
We carry each other’s shadow

We wear each other’s sorrows
We carry each other’s terror of darkness

Some guide us to pillars of marble
Others lead us to the wildflowers

At times my eyes see the veils of light
At times others see the dew of milky way

We can wear each other’s smiles
We can hide in the masks of sadness

So these words touch you somewhere
And you touch back.

About This Poem

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Country/Region: Washington DC

Favorite Poets: D.Thomas, Stevens, Eliot, Blake, Rimbaud, Oliver, Delmore Schwartz, Neruda, Marti, Commings, Moore, Cohen, Merwin, Borges, Breton, Baudelaire, Sabines, Voznesensky, Eluard, Oliver,

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Comments

vandiemenspeak

vandiemenspeak

6 years 10 months ago

Interesting pairings..

Of verbs. One to the other, like reflections. Is this a particular form I'm unaware of? Empathy abounds throughout, which is touching. Wasn't sure about:

At times my eyes see the veils of light
At times others see the dew of milky way

I don't see the milky way as a dew, more a vibrant band that's distinct, but that may due to light pollution and our great fortune in having a lack of it down here. This, however, is great:

We can wear each other’s smiles
We can hide in the masks of sadness

Nothing more true, nor more succinctly expressed.

Great work, I have some catching up to do!

Take care,

Chris.

Eumolpus

Eumolpus

6 years 9 months ago

Thanks for reading

I have considered this change for those two lines

At times my eyes see veils of northern lights
That others see as a dew of milky way

I thought at some time in the poem there should be a break with the similarities and common struggles between us to suggest we can see beauty and awe in different ways. I hope this works better.
The poem was written after a visit to the Burning Man exhibit in DC. If you are unfamiliar with this unique event, google it..it is amazing.
cheers, Mark

L

Lavaheart

6 years 8 months ago

Mirrors of light

I saw this as describing the way poets touch one another, from all different places, without ever having met. I felt it was saying that we are reflections of connection: our words echoing each other's feelings, reverberating in answers of the spirit. A lovely, clean and flowing write.

Eumolpus

Eumolpus

6 years 8 months ago

Yes!

Exactly! Thank you for your comment!

zebra

zebra

6 years 8 months ago

Tender

Evocative of how poetry like art and music does no harm but feelingly affirms the best in us,
unveiling both power and delicate innerness shared. In away poets, a plurality with one heart.

While smooth as silk, is it to smooth? Consider it may be idiosyncrasy but metaphorically I want at least a tear, perhaps a trickle of blood or a peaking end rapturous.
But yes, a beautiful write.