Rett

Aug 17, 2011 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Anna Lee ( An old takeoff with erotic overtones)

Anna Lee

Speak softly breeze of passion's moan
O'er fields fresh plowed in fertile loam
Of musky scent and maiden grown.
Stout was the tree with vigor plied
To rend the valley of earthly pride
And sweet the deaths where passions vied.
Damp the forest so freshly rent;
The seed lies planted with passions spent
And tree once stout now lying bent.
A maid she was, sweet Anna Lee
A rose of love blooms heavenly
Her petals opened - sweet ecstasy.

About This Poem

Last Few Words: That third verse was nagging me as was the fact I misspelled ecstasy.

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Southern Texas, USA

Favorite Poets: Dickenson, Longfellow

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Comments

Geezer

13 years 10 months ago

Nicely done...

I like the rhythm and pace of this one. It adds greatly to the ambience of the piece. Very nice! ~ Gee

Rett

13 years 10 months ago

Thanks Gee

I enjoyed writing this one way back. Wanted to do a simplified semi-modern takeoff on Annabel Lee, by Poe. It isn't a good takeoff on it, but adequate for what I wanted.

Geezer

13 years 10 months ago

Acutally...

I had the thought that it had the flavor of one of the old masters. i didn't remember that Annabel Lee was written by Poe until I went to read the original. I think you did a very adequate job! ~ Gee

raj

13 years 10 months ago

Rett

i am not knowledgeable about the great writes of famous poets...but this one is delicately sensuous for sure...

Rett

13 years 10 months ago

Thank you raj

I tried. LOL

Eduardo Cruz

13 years 10 months ago

Rett

You dirty old man Tree's Petals, I am wondering where is this Gal, I have a tree that needs pruning. LMFAO!
what a beautiful write, you horny old dog. God Bless you that you can still do it, Write and make love. the best of both worlds.
Thanks for sharing
Eddie

Rett

13 years 10 months ago

LOL Eddie

I'll have you know I am NOT a dirty old man! I'm a sexy senior citizen! LOL Glad you liked it.

Candlewitch

13 years 10 months ago

Dear Rhett

Poe is one of my favorite poets. You have done well with Anna Lee. It is sweetly and gently erotic. The rhyme and rythem play out very well. I'd love to see what you would do with "The Raven!"

In great appreciation, Cat

Rett

13 years 10 months ago

Thanks Cat

I appreciate it. I have tried several times on The Raven, but haven't succeeded yet.

weirdelf

13 years 10 months ago

Your skill is such

that you could write this in a more narrative format.
The scansion works, it reads better.

I have taken the liberty of removing some line breaks.

See how it reads.
Hope this helps.\

Anna Lee

Speak softly breeze Of passion's moan
O'er fields fresh plowed In fertile loam
Of musky scent And maiden grown
Stout was the tree With vigor plied
To rend the valley Of earthly pride
And sweet the deaths Where passions vied
Damp the forest So freshly rent
The seed lies planted With passions spent
And tree once stout Now lying bent
A maid she was Sweet Anna Lee
A rose of love Blooms heavenly
Her petals opened Sweet ecstasy

Rett

13 years 10 months ago

Much thanks Jess

I like it a lot. Gracious amigo.