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Sep 27, 2019
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Another Time Some Other Rhyme
I say drop a mouse into a poem
and watch him probe his way out,
or walk inside the poem's room
and feel the walls for a light switch.
another time some other rhyme
love for seeking of the need
chosen friend in the sleeve
About This Poem
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Eumolpus
5 years 9 months ago
I like your poem about poems
I would start with “drop a mouse...” I don’t think you need “I say”
End with a period as the poem is punctuated. Lastly I would say “up a sleeve” as the more commonly understood image rather than in the sleeve
Some suggestions for a well made piece
Eumolpus
5 years 9 months ago
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