Another version of enough

I had a lifetime of enough.
I know this to be true.
We had enough together,
with Shaya, me and the kids.
We worked together.
We played together.
We even had problems together.
We muddled through
in the very best way possible.
We built our life together
in every way.

That was my previous version of enough.
That was then.
In the here and now,
in this moment in time,
my version of enough
still relies on me
leaning on the ones I love
and who love me.

They are staunch.
They are strong.
They are doing the very best for me.
I am grateful to them for this.
Indeed,
because of them,
I am enough.

About This Poem

Last Few Words: At the seder on Sunday, once again, I was reminded of what I had in the past, but also, what I have right now. I never take it for granted.

Review Request Direction: How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft

About the Author

Country/Region: VIC

Favorite Poets: Dorothea McKellar, Henry Lawson, Banjo Paterson

Comments

neopoet

2 months 4 weeks ago

Neopoet AI - version 2.0

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem "Another version of enough" beautifully captures the theme of finding contentment and fulfillment through relationships and shared experiences. The imagery of working, playing, and facing problems together with loved ones creates a sense of unity and strength. The transition from the past version of "enough" to the present one, where reliance on loved ones is highlighted, is effectively portrayed.

One suggestion for further enhancing the poem could be to explore more vivid sensory details or specific anecdotes to bring the scenes to life. This could help the reader to immerse themselves more fully in the moments described and deepen the emotional impact of the poem.

Additionally, consider playing with the structure or form of the poem to create a more dynamic flow or to emphasize key moments or reflections. Experimenting with line breaks, stanza lengths, or rhythm could add another layer of depth to the poem and enhance its overall impact on the reader.

Overall, "Another version of enough" is a heartfelt exploration of the evolving concept of "enough" through

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

Geezer

2 months 3 weeks ago

I understand the first lines

I understand the first lines as being something in the past, and the rest of it dealing with today, in the now? I sense something changed, but can't put my finger on it. I do think that you have a great family and circle to be in. I felt it with every line.

Geezer.
.