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Sep 29, 2011
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Apocalypse One.
Born on a dead and lonely planet
She opens her eyes to witness a stark new day.
All she has is her mother's grave.
Aftermath of apocalypse
will her world re-populate?
Walks the earth imagination working
where did the human race go?
Will they return, or is she destined
go mad on this godforsaken world?
Echoes From a human voice reverberate.
But it is only a recording,
a masculine tone she can not fathom.
The words he speaks, afford some solace.
Love grows, fantasy keeps her sane.
A true romance
With in her starved brain.
He must be her savior.
or she will live her life alone.
About This Poem
Last Few Words: Thinking of making this a series.
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
lou
13 years 9 months ago
Xena
Thank you
Lou
Hooded Stranger
13 years 9 months ago
Lou
Lou,
as you know as I have already said about this piece elsewhere...this is my favourite Lou poem of all time. And I still can't put my finger on...why?
regards,
HS
lou
13 years 9 months ago
Dan
I can't tell you why you like it, but i'm glad that you do.
Lou
wesley snow
13 years 9 months ago
This is massively creepy.
I think most everyone knows that I prefer the even rhythm/rhyme stuff, but this caught my attention. Perhaps it's the story or maybe the spooky language. Anyway, I was able to "see" the poem as I read and I think that's the crux of it all.
Since Xena gave you a little suggestion, perhaps I may? I think "witnesses" needs to be singular.
wesley
wesley snow
13 years 9 months ago
This is massively creepy.
I think most everyone knows that I prefer the even rhythm/rhyme stuff, but this caught my attention. Perhaps it's the story or maybe the spooky language. Anyway, I was able to "see" the poem as I read and I think that's the crux of it all.
Since Xena gave you a little suggestion, perhaps I may? I think "witnesses" needs to be singular.
wesley
lou
13 years 9 months ago
Wesley
Im open to suggestions, that is part of my reason for being here. I'm glad that you liked my poem.
Lou
lou
13 years 9 months ago
Jayne
You know what i'm like for typos lol
lou
Candlewitch
13 years 9 months ago
Dear Lou,
This is truly forlorn and gruesome! Have you seen that old movie; "a dog and his boy"? If not I highly recommend it!
love, Cat
lou
13 years 9 months ago
Cat
No I haven't seen that film, i'll have a look for it.
Thanks
Lou
lou
13 years 9 months ago
Xena
thank you
Lou