Appleton boys

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet’s AI:

This poem presents a sequential depiction of a group—presumably adolescent or young adult males—preparing for a run, with a focus on the ritual of changing clothes. The poem’s structure is linear and procedural, almost list-like, which creates a sense of ritual or routine. This approach can be effective for conveying the methodical nature of athletic preparation, but it also risks monotony unless the language or imagery provides additional layers of meaning.

The diction is straightforward, bordering on clinical, which could be interpreted as an intentional stylistic choice to highlight the ordinariness or even absurdity of the process. However, there are moments where anatomical references (“from their cocks”) are used in a way that seems either deliberately provocative or perhaps inadvertently awkward. If the intention is to unsettle or draw attention to the physicality of the scene, this could be effective, but as written, it introduces ambiguity about tone—whether the poem is aiming for humor, discomfort, or simple description.

The poem shifts from third person (“Appleton boys are getting ready”) to first person plural (“Our hearts are beating fast / And we can feel it”) in the final lines. This shift is abrupt and may benefit from a more gradual transition or a clearer rationale, as it changes the relationship between speaker and subject without clear justification.

There is little figurative language or imagery; most lines are literal descriptions of actions. This can serve to ground the poem in realism, but it also limits opportunities for resonance or emotional depth. The repetition of “now” at the beginning of several lines creates a sense of immediacy but could be varied for greater rhythmic interest.

The poem’s conclusion gestures toward physical exertion and shared experience (“Our hearts are beating fast / And we can feel it”), which could be developed further to provide a stronger emotional or thematic resolution.

Consider clarifying the intended tone, especially regarding the anatomical references and the shift in perspective. Introducing more sensory detail or figurative language could enhance the poem’s impact and help distinguish routine from ritual. Attention to line breaks and variation in sentence structure may also improve the poem’s rhythm and engagement.

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