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Jan 05, 2024
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Are You Going to Heaven?...
Are you sure?
For only $29.99 a month, we can guarantee
you a spot in the Emerald Green Valley,
a resting spot described as Heaven!
Care free, you can lay about with no worries;
no mowing, shoveling snow or litter.
Fresh flags for veterans, and mourners for the friendless!
We take pleasure in making your stay here a pleasant one.
Our employees will take care of your every need
and will wake you on the day of ressurrection
providing testimony as to your worthiness
to make sure that you aren't left behind
Over a hundred years of satisfaction!
We have never heard a single complaint.
Valentine's Special coming up!
Half price for lovers in deadly triangles!
About This Poem
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - draft
Comments
neopoet
1 year 5 months ago
Neopoet AI (premium) - 5-29-23 version
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
It is not feasible to offer feedback.
Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact
Geezer
1 year 5 months ago
This poem...
was a test to make sure that posting is possible. It is not as finished product, but will be as soon as I find the time to make it a full poem. ~ Geezer.
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Unca Fez
1 year 5 months ago
Does Miracle Healing Water Come With That?
Does Miracle Healing Water come with that? I've heard this somewhere before. !-D
Unca Fez
1 year 5 months ago
Apologies!
I posted my comment before I saw your note regarding it being unfinished. Please ignore it.
Geezer
1 year 5 months ago
It's finished now...
just a little something to get a post and make sure that the site was okay, but I had to finish it up. Apologies? Why? Not a big deal. I am always pleased when anyone responds to my work. Even if they are so eager, that they don't read the last word. LoL
I've done it myself. ~ Geez.
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Unca Fez
1 year 5 months ago
After Reading The Completed Work...
After reading the completed work, I think I still feel my original question is valid. This could almost be a script for one of those infomercials that promise miracle healing if you only believe (and send in $29.99 within the next 10 minutes.) ;)
At least for me, I find that organized religion is just another scam. I guess I have a hard time believing in miracles.
RoseBlack
1 year 5 months ago
I love this
I may need the half price special lol! Very clever and well written!
Candlewitch
1 year 5 months ago
Dear Gee,
No Heaven for me... I'm going for reincarnation in a different solar system! Your poem is a slam dunk! I love it when you do something so totally different and unexpected!
*L & H, Cat
RoseBlack
1 year 5 months ago
I don't think
I want to be reincarnated. I'll take my chances in the cemetery and see where it lands me.
Leslie
1 year 5 months ago
As to harmony in heaven, I
As to harmony in heaven, I don't buy it either there has got to be
conflict there. There would be no meaning without it. Besides
that there is always one or two idiots trying to throw a wrench
into any system. Opposition fuels the fire for growth and progress, but that is the way I see it personally.
Leslie
1 year 5 months ago
Geez
I thought that was interesting. Good job!
Geezer
1 year 5 months ago
Thank you...
once in a while I just go off on a thought. I guess I don't believe much in a heaven. I know that we are supposed to take it on faith, but I don't have much faith in anything having to do with religion and creed. I side with George Carlin, in saying that a just and wonderful god, shouldn't have to threaten or cajole his faithful into following him by saying that if you don't do as he says, that you will be thrown into a lake of fire to burn forever and ever. I guess this is just a rant against the constant commercialism of today's world. We have commercials for everything these days, look at the mega-churches, which offer salvation for the price of just a few dollars every month, just say you believe and send in your donations to pay for the pastor's new $600 suit! After all, he has to look good in the service of the Lord, and he needs his jet and mansion to spread the word and entertain the elite of the world, while the brilliant smile on his face is laughing all the way to the bank! ~ Geez.
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MermaidMaster
1 year 5 months ago
this poem is so clever! Your
this poem is so clever! Your wit shines through especially in this one. Thanks for sharing!
Geezer
1 year 5 months ago
I'm pleased...
that you think I am clever and witty. I have a great love for the absurd, the foolish and the eerie. I see the commercials for
things that you would think don't need hawking; like buying a burial plot, cremation and funeral services, and I wonder if maybe it's because people just like to see the advertisements. Do you have your favorite commercials? I love the ones about car insurance. It seems as though, the funnier they are, the better people like them. What is funny about car insurance and accidents? Anyway, thanks for the read and comments. ~ Geezer.
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Sen99
1 year 4 months ago
A Compelling Read
Nice dry humour, a parody of a commercial, I believed I was reading a sales pitch for the ultimate funeral parlour.
I think I will book mine in June ;)
Geezer
1 year 3 months ago
Something... I'm know for
I'm know for; dry sarcastic humor that sometimes treads a very fine line. I have days when my brain has a hard time
keeping up with my mouth, and I warn people that they may encounter a mouth unencumbered with a brain. I do parodies of commercials, [I have a love/hate relationship with them.] ~ Geezer.
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William Lynn
1 year 4 months ago
And not a single complaint,
And not a single complaint, Go figure! I too, agree with the other responses. Cleverly written about a topic that divides many of us.
I guess we'll all know eventually but in the mean time, I'll continue to believe that the great hear after is a work of fiction. If I get it wrong and I bite the dust before ya', I'll try to let you know.
As the old barker would scream from his wagon, "Magic Elixir, just one dime, one tenth of a dollar. Cures moles, colds, sore holes and makes child birth a pleasure".
The pleasure was in reading the poem and it was free! Thanks, Will
Geezer
1 year 3 months ago
Thanks for the read...
and comments. I think it's something, just not what most believe. No white-haired God, throwing thunderbolts and sending people to a pit of hell for acting like the animals he made them. Yeah... sure would be interested in hearing if I should make a run for it! Thanks again, ~ Geez.
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