ASTERISK

But I will give you what I can concerning the write. First off let me say the language is strong and evocative. I could appreciate the feeling attempted. I did not quite understand the purpose of some of the line breaks. In most cases I feel a poet (particularly those writing free verse) will use line breaks in an attempt to cause the reader pause or speed up in specific locations. The line breaks here seemed rather arbitrary. An example is where you leave a single article ("the") alone on a line. For what purpose? It neither changed my pace nor shifted my attention to another point of the poem.
The meter of the piece, though not consistent, offered no hindrance to the poem, but neither did it enhance. The occasional moments the phrasing sped up was not placed so that it brought a particularly moving moment to the forefront. It simply sped the pace. Again, not to any hindrance of the feel of the poem.
This of course, is only my perspective, but I have always considered my poetry to work as might an oil painting or a musical composition. That each stroke, each note has purpose and if it serves no purpose other than to merely be there then it is superfluous. The language is superb and demonstrates a quick mind, but though a poem should be written mostly from "the heart", I believe it is also a mechanical contrivance. Without control of the machine, the heart is simply bleeding.
wesley

You came to me and drew me in

the velvet closeness
dark and daring

our plots and thoughts
like rich veins

thick and singing

the waves of want
lapping
thirsty as a stray


and how we played

and now we stay

haunted

extricated slowly


one bruised leg at a time
sweet this wind that seeps

through this...(?)

and your touch lands like a gunshot

hot and stinging


the equisite graze of these wounds

another notch on our scarred hearts.

Steven I had a go the way I would,
as I agreed with wesley snow about the breaks,
I don't quite understand the through this where I put the...(?)
I feel the words make a better impact rearranged in some way,
just my try. Love as aye Ann.

equisite graze...exquisite?

This is a wonderful example of how alliteration and near rhyme can enrich a free verse poem. thank you............scribbler

"sweet this wind
that seeps
through this"

Oh I liked that.

Interesting title. Asterisk indicates doubt - or an omission of sorts. I found this quite fitting to this poem. We never truly know, do we? But for now, it works and the players take what they can from it.

Lovely free verse and beautiful use of brevity. It might be a thought to lose the gerunds though. Also, eliminate some of the "the's" and the "and's"

Possible Example:

"your touch
a gunshot

stings hot...etc.

All in all you have touched me. I enjoyed this very much. ~Pamela