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May 23, 2013
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Attempting to take Ian's Advice ;)
I know you hate to break the truth, my dear,
For me you no longer shed a tear.
You've never shown your love to me,
As far as my eyes and heart can see.
"Don't cry," I prayed,
I'll be here to stay,
If you return to me
Forever mine you'll be.
And if I fail to see your face,
You'll run away but I'll end the chase.
I'll tie you to my heart with cord,
But if you escape, I'll seize my sword.
About This Poem
Last Few Words: From my last poem, "Let You Go", Ian. T gave me a suggestion: "You see that things you love do come back even if you have let them go, but if they don't come back then as the old saying goes, hunt them down etc:lol." Based on that, I tried to follow that 'old saying'. lol
Review Request Direction:
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - draft
Comments
Linda
12 years 5 months ago
Positive thinking
always accompany those who think positively. Nice work!
Ian.T
12 years 5 months ago
Gabbers
A fun write that can have serious memories but if a memory then they are past.
You can only live in the now, so yesterday and tomorrow are only sign posts.
Plan for tomorrow when it becomes the now..
Evaluate your yesterdays to improve your now.. ( I.T 2013)
Take care of you, Yours ian.T
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