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Jul 08, 2025
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In The Attic
Through the slats comes the faintest of lights
It graces my cool skin
As a shadow falls softly onto the floor,
I’ve never noticed before
the color of my skin
or the shape of my hand
I am the outline
of a silhouette
A formation
of dust and old photographs,
maybe even photos of me
in another life
The moon hangs low,
sheathed in a halo
Lit by the soft glow,
I have come to life
I wonder what I look like
from the rooftop
About This Poem
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - draft
Comments
neopoet
2 months 2 weeks ago
Neopoet AI (premium) [2025-04]
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet’s AI:
The poem explores themes of self-perception, memory, and liminality, using the attic as both a literal and metaphorical space. The imagery is atmospheric, with “the faintest of lights” and “a shadow falls softly,” establishing a quiet, introspective mood. The speaker’s realization of their own physicality—“the color of my skin / or the shape of my hand”—suggests a moment of self-discovery or estrangement, heightened by the setting’s isolation.
The shift from concrete details (“dust and old photographs”) to more abstract ideas (“maybe even photos of me / in another life”) introduces ambiguity, blurring the line between memory and imagination. The use of “outline / of a silhouette” reinforces the theme of partial self-knowledge or ghostliness, fitting for the attic’s associations with the past and forgotten things.
The final stanzas move from the interior to the exterior: the moon, the rooftop, and the desire to see oneself from a new vantage point. This gesture outward suggests longing for perspective or transformation, though the poem remains unresolved, maintaining its atmosphere of uncertainty.
Line breaks generally support the poem’s pacing, though some enjambments (“I’ve never noticed before / the color of my skin”) could be reconsidered for clarity or emphasis. The phrase “I have come to life / I wonder what I look like / from the rooftop” is intriguing but somewhat abrupt; further development might clarify the emotional or narrative stakes.
Overall, the poem’s strength lies in its evocative setting and the interplay between physical detail and existential questioning. Greater specificity in imagery or a more defined narrative arc could enhance the reader’s engagement with the speaker’s transformation.
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