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Dec 01, 2023
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ATTRACTOR
ATTRACTOR
After all this time, and still no answer
I must ask the question why
I don’t consider myself a chancer
With letters sent and no reply
It’s confusion whilst never knowing
And a cold winter wind is blowing
But keeping warm all the while
As I recall that special smile
But can she ever know I’m waiting
It’s a serious question if one can cope
Yet all’s not lost, as still there’s hope
There’s pleasure in anticipating
But there is one thing never to miss
The genuine opportunity for a kiss
About This Poem
Last Few Words: Onegin sonnet
Style/Type: Structured: Western
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Not actively editing
Comments
Geezer
1 year 6 months ago
Oooohhh...
I think that the office-party or a home party would be the answer to that! Make sure that you either plant yourself underneath the mistletoe, or keep track of where she is, and when she gets under it, WHAM! Lay one on her! With all that anticipation and
thought behind it, it should be spectacular! Of course, if you are wrong, and she doesn't fancy you... You may be looking for a new job, and/or facing imprisonment for sexual assault. I thought your heartfelt appeal should have been enough to elicit a response. Maybe take that as a sign. Nicely done Sir, I like it! ~ Geezer.
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Candlewitch
1 year 6 months ago
Hello Poet,
A sonnet is probably beyond my capabilities but I liked what I read. The timorousness and fragility of a a hopeful soul. The only thing that bothers me is how the title is presented! I am put off by all Caps. in a title. It offends my eyes and makes me feel like I am being yelled at!
My favorite lines are:
But can she ever know I’m waiting
It’s a serious question if one can cope
Yet all’s not lost, as still there’s hope
There’s pleasure in anticipating
*hugs, Cat
Geezer
1 year 6 months ago
I agree...
I think I know why you made the title all in caps, that it would make it seem all the more attractive? Nope! Made me wince. ~ Geez.
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