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Sep 27, 2012
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Autumnal Ball (a prosey poem)
Autumnal Ball
sun dappled shadows gambol on the ground
swaying branches ablaze with muted colors
Gaia laughs
shimmering translucent mirth
she shakes her head tossing her hair
as leaves tumble in a madcap freefall
cavorting gaily in the swirling gusts of wind!
About This Poem
Last Few Words: a piece from the "Mirrir/rorriM" manuscript.
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft
Comments
Rula
12 years 9 months ago
Wonderful Dear Cat
You've captured the best of our Mother Nature..
Thanks for sharing.
Candlewitch
12 years 9 months ago
Dear Rula,
Thank you for taking the time to read and leave a comment. It is greatly appreciated!
always, Cat
Candlewitch
12 years 9 months ago
Dear Beau,
Yes! I like your line better! Thank you for the suggestion, and for sharing with me. I am always editing, until it goes to print, lol. Enjoy the hell out of your class! I share your love of Autumn. As much as Winter can be pretty in its white drapery, I hate the cold. And Summer can be heavy in its sweltering heat.
Always, Cat
Geezer
12 years 9 months ago
I have to...
agree with Rula and Beauegard on this one. Great images, [ I get one of a redhead dancing on the edge of a forest, with the wind blowing leaves all around ] the personification of Autumn. Delightful! ~ Gee
Candlewitch
12 years 9 months ago
Dear Guy,
I love your imagery! Thank you!
always, Cat
weirdelf
12 years 9 months ago
Exquisite and beautiful penned
I do have a slight problem with anthropomorphic personifications sometimes. 'Mother Nature'? Perhaps a tad cliched? Perhaps 'Gaia laughs'?
Nothing proesy about this, fine freeform. Dig it!
Candlewitch
12 years 9 months ago
Dear Jess,
Gaia is much better and in keeping with my beliefs! Very astute of you to make the suggestion. Thank you! How are you? I hope you are well. I miss chatting with you.
love, Cat & all
Ian.T
12 years 9 months ago
Cat
A glimpse of Mother nature dancing into the Winters grasp, loved the way you penned this one, but, as Jess may say and did.
anthropomorphic personifications sometimes. 'Mother Nature'?
Mother Nature laughs
swaying branches ablaze with muted colors
seasonal scattered laughs
shimmering translucent mirth
shakimg heads tossing their wares.
These are just to stop those big words creeping in lol...
Thinking of you, Yours Ian
Candlewitch
12 years 9 months ago
Dear Ian,
I am always interested to read your opinions! Thank you!
always, Cat