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Nov 15, 2022
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AUTUMN'S CUSP
Mid October a chill day
with a northern cooling breeze.
All hints of summer gone away.
The few green leaves are just a tease.
Tomorrow will bring the first frost
so this day finds me 'neath the trees
absorbing warmth before its lost
and limbering up titanium knees.
For I'm not what I once was.
Time has seen that I am not,
So I sit on a stump to take a pause
and breathe autumn's scent which I'd forgot.
Then turn my face up to the sky
as cool front winds begin to blow.
I watch the clouds as they race by.
They leave like friends I used to know.
My eyes water from sun's glare
so I drop my head down to my chest
letting my chin settle there
while I count the ways that I am blessed.
I'm blessed with our cabin in the trees
I'm blessed with seeing one more fall.
I'm blessed with grandchildren to tease.
I'm blessed with being here at all.
I watch a squirrel climb to its nest
for now the sun is getting low
so ere' it reaches ridge's crest
I arise then turn and go.
About This Poem
Last Few Words: perhaps this will break the writer's block I've been enduring..........
Style/Type: Structured: Western
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
lovedly
2 years 7 months ago
AS USUAL rhyming marvelously scribble on Stan
first line ought to also be bless...ED...
May re-look
ere the sun goes down
We both are aging since those gone off morns
when perhaps we were both born
in time's expansive greener than now lawns
rgds
Stan
scribbler
2 years 7 months ago
Hi Loved
It sure is nice to have friends who spot my myriad typos. Hope you are doing well
lovedly
2 years 7 months ago
yes thanks Stan
as ever
Lavender
2 years 7 months ago
Autumn's Cusp
Hi, Stan,
It is lovely to just sit and pause. So peaceful, I hate to walk away from it.
Thank you,
Lavender
scribbler
2 years 7 months ago
Yes
And the older this old dude gets the more I appreciate being able to do it
Rosewood Apothecary
2 years 7 months ago
Woooooo
Awesome. Don’t touch it. I love it.
Tim
scribbler
2 years 7 months ago
Hi Tim
Not sure its awesome but thanks for saying so lol
Seren
2 years 5 months ago
Dear Bro
I have missed walking with you & listening and watching your seasons pass by, I offer no edit to perfection but this.
and breathe autumn's scent which I'd forgot.
I'd get rid of the *and* turn breathe into *breathing*
just a suggestion as always they are just that.
love always to you and yours Sis xxx
scribbler
2 years 5 months ago
Hello
You know, I had considered this when I scribbled this one out. I'll give it some thought then make up my mind tomorrow
Candlewitch
2 years 5 months ago
dear Stan,
I agree with Seren on everything. I hope you are well and warm...
*hugs, Cat
scribbler
2 years 5 months ago
Hi Cat
I am pleased you came by and appreciate the kind words
Tawny023
9 months 1 week ago
This present nostalgia was
This present nostalgia was written beautifully. As it is beyond amazing, touchy, and brilliant.
My favorite line
For I'm not what I once was.
Time has seen that I am not,
The rest are grains of salt suggestions
I would add the word on in this line
limbering up ‘on’ titanium knees.
Then turn my face up to the sky
Then turn my face ‘towards’ the sky or
Then turn my face ‘upward’ to the sky
My eyes water from sun's glare
My eyes water from ‘the’ sun's glare
Move while up: letting my chin settle there while
I count the ways that I am blessed.
Or
letting my chin settle there ‘as’
I count the ways that I am blessed.
Mid October a cool day
with a northern cooling breeze.
Mid October a cool day
with a northern swaying breeze.
scribbler
9 months 1 week ago
Hi Tawny
I appreciate your dropping by and will keep your idea in mind with the eventual edit