jane210660

Mar 07, 2018 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

This poem is part of the contest:

Ode To The Cellphone [March contest] 🏆 Winner

(Read More...)

Balance of Power - Ode to the cellphone March contest

Shiny, streamlined smart
phone, tap, tap, tap.
Tiny, morse messengers, summon
our silicon gods.
Didn’t you know, the world is flat
and reduced
to the palm of a hand?
We have such power.

Sleek, sexy smart
phone, tap, tap, tap.
Hand held, caressed.
Obsessed
we worship
our sugar coated tablet,
which holds such power.

About This Poem

Last Few Words: We don’t call them cell phones in the UK, we call them mobiles. Of no major significance really, just thought I’d mention.

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Not actively editing

About the Author

Region, Country: Yorkshire England, GBR

Comments

lovedly

7 years 3 months ago

l'ng t'me no c

u ne'r left ur cell no
else I'd could've also
tap tap d'd de
wishes u luck
as winner
l'vdle
sms
me

jane210660

7 years 3 months ago

Been over busy with stuff. Now presenting a local radio show twice a week and I put in crazy hours. Also doing some teaching in amongst. Not been writing at all, but the March competition caught my eye.
Nice to hear from you. Jx

raj

7 years 3 months ago

Hi Jane

A good take on how these tiny gadgets have come to almost rule human lives..

Best of luck for the contest..
.............................................
regards..

jane210660

7 years 3 months ago

Hi Raj

Thanks and nice to hear from you. Jx

Eumolpus

7 years 3 months ago

hello

happy to see you again.
I did not know that about mobiles. For us that's those Calder like sculptures you hang from the ceiling!

I like your poem but to need more to know what that power is..is it power over us? power to change the world for good or bad?

jane210660

7 years 3 months ago

Hi Eumolpus

Nice to hear from you.
I disagree - you have to work it out for yourself. I'm not spoon feeding the reader.
To me, it's perfectly obvious, if it's a bit obscure to others, then maybe they have to think about it a bit.
Language is a funny old thing isn't it? Mobiles here are also the decorative things you hang from the ceiling. Originally mobiles were called 'mobile phones' and it just got shortened to mobiles as time wore on. Jx

Geezer

7 years 3 months ago

I liked it...

and until I read your reply, wanted you to say more about what and why, myself. I then went back and asked myself all the questions I had for you, the author and found that I was pretty good at giving myself the answers I wanted. ~ Gee.
.

jane210660

7 years 3 months ago

Hi Gee

Bless you. What a great comment.
Lovely to see you as well. Jx
Well metaphorically see you. x

weirdelf

7 years 3 months ago

-.-. --- --- .-.. / -. .. -.-

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(https://morsecode.scphillips.com/translator.html)

jane210660

7 years 3 months ago

Jess

She says laughing her socks off, I think we all panic.
Clever aren’t ‘they’
By the way, I loved the soporific tones of your message.
Generally I prefer potato chips,these damn silicon ones are just too dry.
Jxx

Obadiah Grey

7 years 3 months ago

Hello, Jane.

Hello, Jane.
You've captured my hatred for these damned things! I have two, one is a personal, one is a work phone, I take great delight in switching both off.

Obi.

jane210660

7 years 3 months ago

Very wise Obi

I agree completely. How sad us it that that’s things rule our lives. Jx

raj

7 years 3 months ago

Jane

instead of "how things rule our lives" i believe that "some things addict us"... in my opinion brings to the fore how we are slaves to a habit...its amazing how these small devices take control of our lives....those who are able to use discretion in their use stand to gain...
................

jane210660

7 years 3 months ago

I think.....

The crux of the poem is that smart phones give us such incredible power, in that the world is literally held in the palm of our hand. Phones give us knowledge, knowledge is power. They are a dangerous tool.
But whilst we think we have ‘tamed’ the untameable, the phone manufacturers have in fact had the last laugh. They have subjugated the majority of the population. Toooooo many people are controlled by their phones.
It really is a massive double entendre. Jxx