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Be The Star!

If you can't
fetch the stars
in your palm,
mimic the way
they cradle
the milky way
at night.

Emit light
in the darkest
times,

guide with
geniality
the lost souls,
and yet keep your
Identity
and pride.

About This Poem

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Jordan, JOR

Favorite Poets: I favor the ones who are closer to humanity and , Poets are humanity when the world lose it.

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Comments

R

raj

6 years 10 months ago

Hi Rula

a wonderful message you have woven in these lines...did you mean geniality or gentility?
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Rula

Rula

6 years 10 months ago

I wanted

gentility, but geniality works well here too.
Thank you dear raj for your kind visit.

R

raj

6 years 10 months ago

Hi Rula

i thought that way too but felt geniality has a softer feel hence made the suggestion
..............................................................................

Rula

Rula

6 years 10 months ago

I too

like the word geniality as never used before.
It's always good to bring forth a fresher breath to poetry.
Thanks for your thoughtful feedback.

Sparrow

Sparrow

6 years 10 months ago

Rula

Lovely short piece that say so much,
You have the stars in your life, it is sad that there are many that can't even see the stars inward or physically.

It was beautiful in Africa where we could see the milky way, I have a telescope here to look outward but local light pollution is too much.
Yet here inside I can hold the stars in my hand, and walk among their light.
I try to show as many as I can the beauty of the inner light.
I can walk with you in your deserts and among the Aspens of Stan's world and so many places it just needs a little thought.

Take care young lady and know we walk the same pathways,
Yours Ian .. x

Rula

Rula

6 years 10 months ago

Dear Ian

You are so kind and your comment reflects that kindness.
I'm so grateful to have such company like yours to walk with me.
Thank you.

R

raj

6 years 10 months ago

Hi Rula

instead of down home, how about in your palms? I suggest this because it may connect even better with cradle in the next line...just a thought..
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Rula

Rula

6 years 10 months ago

Dear raj

How lovely to think it this way. I absolutely like the idea. Will Implement it indeed.
Can't thank you enough for coming back with such fruitful thoughts.
Highly appreciate it.

R

raj

6 years 10 months ago

Good to know Rula that you

Good to know Rula that you found the suggestion worthy of implementation. instead of "down to your palm do you think in your palm would work better and smoother? just tickling your mind on this..i think "in" goes well with "fetch" and "down" then becomes redundant...
.....................................................................................................

Rula

Rula

6 years 10 months ago

Edited

as suggested raj and yes I believe it's smoother now.

R

raj

6 years 10 months ago

good to know Rula that you

good to know Rula that you found the suggestion worthy...
......................................................

lovedly

lovedly

6 years 10 months ago

geniality or gentility

are words two
any one anyway you could chose too
I am such a star
are you not looking from that far
geniality or gentility
but do so gently

Rula

Rula

6 years 10 months ago

Exactly

What I thought.
Thank you lovedly. We are on the same page indeed.

Roscoe Lane

Roscoe Lane

6 years 10 months ago

Beautiful,

Beautiful words, especially the first verse. Love Roscoe...