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Jan 08, 2025
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The beat goes on
His image
Is burned
In my mind.
The way
He spoke
To me,
The way
He listened
To me,
The way
He comforted me.
And it all worked
So well
For me.
I carry
His face
With me
At all times.
Without
Bruce's bridge
I would not be
Functioning
In the way
I am today.
He gave me
Support
He gave me
Strength
He gave me
Hope
All of the above.
My level
Of joy
And happiness
Is only
Due to
That day
The day
Bruce
Broke me down
And opened me up
To the notion
I am enough.
About This Poem
Last Few Words: This is another iteration of an experience I had with a health professional, which included aspects of mindfulness , meditation and breathing. It was a new experience for me, one which I have covered in a variety of poems and in my journal. I thought I was quite lost until I underwent this type of treatment. It gives me great happiness to share it as I had little expectation as to what effect it would have on me, which was massive. I feel it every day. That is why I return to it and the man referenced so frequently.
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft
Comments
neopoet
6 months ago
Neopoet AI (premium) - 5-29-23 version
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
The poem effectively uses repetition to emphasize the speaker's emotional connection to the character Bruce. The repeated use of "The way" and "He gave me" creates a rhythm that mirrors the title, "The beat goes on". This rhythmic pattern could be further developed to enhance the musicality of the poem.
The poem also employs a clear narrative structure, with a beginning, middle, and end, which aids in the reader's comprehension. However, the narrative could be made more compelling with the addition of specific details or imagery. For example, instead of simply stating "He gave me Support, He gave me Strength, He gave me Hope", the poem could show how Bruce provided these things.
The final line, "I am enough", is a powerful statement of self-affirmation. However, the journey to this realization could be more effectively explored. The line "Bruce Broke me down And opened me up" suggests a transformative experience, but the poem does not delve into what this process entailed. Providing more insight into this transformation could enhance the emotional impact of the poem.
The poem's language is straightforward and accessible, which allows the reader to easily understand the speaker's feelings towards Bruce. However, the poem could benefit from more varied and sophisticated language to create a richer reading experience.
Lastly, the poem could benefit from a more consistent use of capitalization. The inconsistent capitalization of words like "Support", "Strength", and "Hope" can be distracting and may confuse the reader. Consistent capitalization would enhance the poem's readability.
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