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Aug 13, 2021
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A Beautiful Boy
On the beach within easy reach
all were enjoying a lovely son
even he was having fun ~~boy's dilemma
About This Poem
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Ray Whitaker
3 years 9 months ago
Good start…
Could you be moving into a legnthy piece in three line form with this?
lovedly
3 years 9 months ago
not really
this is abs imagery
a guy was simply surrounded by younger gals
wanting to buy lips sticks
or
perhaps negligees
this just struck my mind
what a lucky sweet guy
just maybe17 plus
more beautifuller than gals
enjoying aroma at their expense
lol
Ray do you fish
lovedly
3 years 9 months ago
cee
On the beach within easy reach
all were enjoying a lovely son
even he was having fun ~~boy's dilemma
this is abs imagery
a guy was simply surrounded by younger gals
wanting to buy lips sticks
perhaps negligees
this just struck my mind
what a lucky sweet guy
maybe just 17 plus
beautifuller than all gals
enjoying aroma at their expense
Ray Whitaker
3 years 9 months ago
No, don’t fish
Not for years… however was a good fisher in my younger years. Eat ‘em tho…
I like the revision a lot!
lovedly
3 years 9 months ago
thank you
do read the refreshed