BEAUTIFUL SOUL

Your taintless heart
your embodiment of
blessed qualities
stimulate your resplendent
glow of attraction

©® Onyinyechi Cosmos Etu

About This Poem

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Imo State - Republic of Biafra(Nigeria), NGA

Favorite Poets: Late Christopher Okigbo, Wole soyinka, Maya Angelou, W.H. Longfellow, John Milton, W.B. Yeat.

Comments

Rosewood Apothecary

2 years 6 months ago

Awesome

Your taintless heart
your embodiment of
blessed qualities
stimulates your resplendent
glow of attraction

Change to stimulate. A quality stimulates. Qualities stimulate. A taintless heart stimulates but that’s the subject. Your embodiment of blessed qualities is an adverb clause of the verb stimulate as is your resplendent glow of attraction. English is weird with verbiage.

Excellent language usage otherwise,
Tim

Jackweb

2 years 6 months ago

Thanks

Very much for the eagle eye. Your suggestions are very good and accepted. Your tutoring is very impressive.
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Geezer

2 years 6 months ago

Sounds like...

the girl for you! She glows like a beacon. Like a moth to the flame, get her number and name. Good, succinct, terse poetry, that gives the girl in question ten points! Good verse. ~ Geezer.
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