Weirdrandomgirl

Mar 31, 2018 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Beautiful Strangers

The day you left i became a writer
The day you broke it off is the day I became a fighter,

I can't believe that even after all this time I still want you back,
The days seem longer and the nights so much colder,

I look at myself and then I look at her
"Was I ever beautiful to you?" or was it all a lie
All my thoughts and dreams died

So many memories of the past, so many promises that never did last,
I used to know you or so I thought I did

But now we've both become beautiful strangers,
With a past full of lies and a future that'll never be

Bye forever my beautiful stranger

About This Poem

Last Few Words: I wrote this all by myself in my room it was after I read this book with a tragic ending

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: North Carolina, USA

Comments

raj

7 years 7 months ago

A good poem to sign off and

A good poem to sign off a relationship and get rid of negative energies and start afresh on a positive footing. It is a good attempt considering that it is supposedly not from a personal experience but inspired by a book you read....I don't know if the title of the poem is the title of the book but I liked it all the same...

Welcome to Neopoet...I am sure you will benefit from comments of fellow members which will enable you to keep improvising your poetic skill...I read your profile just now and note that you have taken to poetry in your pre teen years...

keep writing more..
.....................................

Weirdrandomgirl

7 years 7 months ago

Thank You Very Much For Your

Thank You Very Much For Your Input.
The Book Isn't Called Beautiful Strangers
I usually pick the titles after I write the poems a bit of this is from personal experiences

raj

7 years 7 months ago

Hi WRG

Considering you are taking baby steps in the domain of poetry, I suggest you seek a mentor who will guide you to improve every step of your way.....look for "Find a Mentor" in the drop down menu under Mentor Tab ..

I suggest that do not be upset by harsh criticism you may find...instead take it in your stride and look at those comments as "areas of improvement"...

Will look forward to read more of poems you post here...express yourself through a medium of poetry...

Best wishes...

scribbler

7 years 7 months ago

Greetings neighbor

I'm from South Carolina. I liked this. It has internal rhyme and a straight forward message. Next to last line you might think about leaving "real" out...........stan

Weirdrandomgirl

7 years 7 months ago

Thank You, What do you think

Thank You, What do you think I should use instead of the word "real"

scribbler

7 years 7 months ago

Hi

Don't use anything, just delete it. But this being Your poem that is of course entirely up to you....stan

Weirdrandomgirl

7 years 7 months ago

That's actually a really good

That's actually a really good idea thanks now that I've read it over I understand what you mean thank you for you input -Lyric

lovedly

7 years 7 months ago

vast choice just google and pick what u really wish to..convey

Synonyms for for real
adj truly existing, real

hello google and see
adjective

1‘she treats fictional characters as if they were real people’
SYNONYMS

actual, existent, non-fictional, non-fictitious, factual

historical

material, physical, tangible, concrete, palpable, corporeal, substantial

rare unimaginary, veridical

Weirdrandomgirl

7 years 7 months ago

Thank You I will try to find

Thank You I will try to find something that mixes in with my writing

Sparrow

7 years 7 months ago

Random girl

A lovely piece of writing.
Welcome to Neopoet here you will be able to learn writing of Poetry from the classics to the modern and of course your own style will shine through it all,
Great to walk with you,
Yours, Sparrow.

Weirdrandomgirl

7 years 7 months ago

I actually am trying to find

I actually am trying to find myself and love i am struggling with how i look at myself and my worth and am trying to expand my horizons thank you for letting me discover my potential through this site

weirdelf

7 years 6 months ago

Those first two lines were brilliant.

The rest I felt lapsed into sadness and loss, disempowering yourself.

You know words. You can write. I know you can do better.