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Dec 01, 2024
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Beautiful Things
He liked to ruin beautiful things.
He would squeeze the life out of a butterfly and leave its crumpled wings on the ground.
He would stomp on bunnies until they stopped twitching
And poison the meat so it could never be eaten.
Deer would stare innocently at him
Until they, too, were destroyed.
Dead roses left in his wake
Petals gone, but thorns sharper than ever.
He whispered lies into the heads of lovers
And left quietly in the night after sparking an argument.
He liked to ruin beautiful things.
Sunny wedding days turned into thunderstorms at the snap of a finger.
He wanted control, so he ruined everything around him.
Butterflies to bunnies to deer to couples to countries.
A country once united stood more divided than ever.
Built under God, it now turned towards him, and he danced in the chaos he had created.
He held the world in one hand, and kerosene in the other.
About This Poem
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
neopoet
6 months 3 weeks ago
Neopoet AI 5-29-23 version
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Lavender
6 months 3 weeks ago
Beautiful Things
Hello, Hippiemoon,
Potent and stirring. This reminds me a bit of The Rolling Stones song, "Sympathy For The Devil" with its long string of destruction leading to that fateful final line. A powerful poem.
Thank you,
L
hippiemoon
6 months 3 weeks ago
Thank you Lavender! How did
Thank you Lavender! How did you know I used that song for inspiration? Along with the main character from These Violent Delights by Micah Nemerever. Thank you again for reading and commenting!
Best,
hippiemoon
Lavender
6 months 3 weeks ago
Interesting! :)
Powerful poetry!
Haven't read the book, but I'll look into it!
Thank you!
L
Alex Tanner
6 months 3 weeks ago
Hello Hippie
A powerful and thought provoking piece. I wonder, did you have anyone in mind when you penned this? Alex
hippiemoon
6 months 3 weeks ago
Hi Alex! Thank you for your
Hi Alex! Thank you for your comment! I was actually thinking that the “he” was the devil, but I didn’t want to state it explicitly. However, as Lavender pointed out, I used a “Sympathy for the Devil” approach and hinted at it with my references to God. Thank you again for reading and commenting!
Best,
hippiemoon