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Oct 01, 2011
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The Beginnings of Goodbye
wandering through town
washed clean by the last deluge
sparkling black shimmered
and I found peace under a rock
in rows of corn
I drank water and broke bread
as two hundred miles
separate two half hearts
ever aching and reaching
for your touch
I miss you
as I'll love you
forever
About This Poem
Last Few Words: Thanks Rosi and Ian and Judd x x
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - draft
Comments
Geezer
14 years 1 month ago
This took me...
back to a night I was broken-hearted, and walking around my little town, wondering what did I ever do to warrant such pain in my heart! My first love had broken up with me! I know it isn't what this one is about, but I was brought back to the pain. Good poem! " not all my emotions have to pleasurable to be good" ~ Geezer
raj
14 years ago
Hey! are you sober now..you
Hey! are you sober now..you go places don't you when you get drunk :)
judyanne
14 years ago
'as two hundred miles
'as two hundred miles
separated two half hearts'
- imho 'separate' - present tense - would work better...
beautiful write jc
love and big hugs
judy