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Jun 04, 2025
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Beleza pura
Beleza pura
Is the nature
That my Father
Had made with
His holy hands
Before he made
The human beings
Here on earth
And after he made
The human beings
He had placed us
Here on earth
To live
I don't know if
The other human beings
Appreciate the beleza
Pura
That is the nature
As much as I do
I must tell you Father
You had done a fine job
Making the beleza pura
That is the nature
That I enjoy so much
During the Summer
In the parks you planted
The flowers
And they are a show
Of colors
Today during the Summer
I took a peek
At that beautiful sky
That is blue with the
White clouds
And I didn't see
Any sign of rain
Also the birds were
Flying
very high in that beautiful
Sky
Yes Father we are having
A heat wave
And that is no good for
People that have heart problems
Because they can also
Die
From the heat wave
Father can you please
Hurry up and bring
Us some rain
Because we didn't had
Any rain for 20 days
And we want you
To cool the earth
About This Poem
Last Few Words: That is a new poem Written by Aldo Kraas
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
[This option has been removed]
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Not actively editing
Comments
neopoet
2 weeks 6 days ago
Neopoet AI (premium) [2025-04]
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet’s AI:
This poem reflects on the beauty of nature, attributing its creation to a paternal, divine figure, and moves between gratitude, observation, and a plea for relief from a heat wave. The structure is free verse, with short lines and frequent line breaks that create a conversational, almost prayer-like tone.
The poem’s language is direct and unadorned, which gives it a sense of sincerity but also limits its evocative power. The repetition of phrases such as “beleza pura” and “that is the nature” emphasizes the central theme but could be reconsidered for variety and impact. The poem’s perspective is personal, but the speaker’s relationship to “Father” (presumably God) is stated rather than explored through imagery or metaphor.
There are moments where the poem shifts abruptly from appreciation (“a show / Of colors”) to concern (“we are having / A heat wave”), which introduces a sense of urgency. However, these transitions could be strengthened by developing the emotional or sensory connection between the speaker and the natural world. The poem mentions specific details—flowers, blue sky, white clouds, birds—but these are described in general terms. More vivid, concrete imagery could help the reader experience the beauty and the discomfort alongside the speaker.
The poem’s syntax occasionally slips (“we didn’t had / Any rain”), which may distract from the intended tone. Attention to verb tense and agreement would clarify the message. The closing plea for rain is direct, but the poem could benefit from exploring the tension between gratitude and need more deeply, perhaps by reflecting on the relationship between humans and the environment.
Overall, the poem’s strengths lie in its earnestness and its attempt to grapple with both appreciation and anxiety regarding nature. Greater attention to imagery, language precision, and emotional development would enhance its impact.
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