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Sep 28, 2011
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Believe it or Not
You hope the one you're with
is true, but
know it's just delusions.
give benefits of doubt, but
is often wrong
Rug you stand on
steps rely on
fallen ladder from roof top
leave you stranded
on dry rotted shingles
Home of hopes, dreams
cherished memorable fruits
faded love on dead stems
sit idle in stained vase
no longer haven for marriage vows
Nest is empty
birds, damaged feathers
return home, tattered
weathering the storm
of life tragic lessons
no matter state of affairs
all will be well, because
i still live
free of regrets, and grudges
believe it or not
About This Poem
Last Few Words: in a down spiral. writing is good therapy
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
weirdelf
13 years 9 months ago
I believe it.
It seems with this you might be working towards longer, more in depth poems, which would be a natural progression for you.
Just a couple of grammar errors
You hope the one you with [you're with]
know its just delusions. [it's]
is often wrong [they're often]
lovely imagery, well expressed.
Barbara Writes
13 years 9 months ago
thanks
i will make the change.
thanks for the suggestion and ctit
they as well as other here have helped me alot
Geezer
13 years 9 months ago
Since Jess...
has already given critique on the parts I would have, I will just say that I think I know where this write comes from. My wife and I have children who are grown and left the house only to come back when their feathers get ragged and torn. Seeking comfort of the old home front. It is frustrating to see this, but we help when we can. I just wish it wasn't so often! Good work, ~ Gee
Barbara Writes
13 years 9 months ago
thnks Gee
you are right on
with your comment
thanks for reading and sharing. i really appreciate