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Feb 11, 2012
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Beneath the Crashing Waves
Beneath the crashing waves
I am weightless.
Flowing with the circular current,
The sun shines through the crystal surface,
Refracting endless colors all around me.
My bodies six feet higher,
The waves crash into my chest.
Looking up to see God, so blue above me,
I hear the ocean moan.
About This Poem
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
weirdelf
13 years 4 months ago
Bloody good!
but the line
Flowing with the circular current,
is a lie, being crushed beneath waves is horrible, scary and death threatening. Change that one line and I would love this.