Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
Aug 01, 2023
⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)
Best Foot Forward
BEST FOOT FORWARD
Neither of my feet made of wood
And with no artificial limb in sight
Stealing a march is a sort of theft
But without a parade, what is left
I never will step off with the right
Yet I think that one is just as good
Here, one must look but also see
In this hot war-torn Afghanistan
On patrol, there is always danger
The risk of death is no stranger
A best foot forward if you can
But must never step on an I.E.D
I’m back in Blighty with just one leg
As a uniformed wheelchair soldier
Watch your step where you tread
Lose your foot but keep your head
Just as the sergeant-major told ya
For early warning, ask Mystic Meg
About This Poem
Style/Type: Structured: Western
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Not actively editing
Comments
Geezer
1 year 11 months ago
I do believe...
this to be a form called a sestain. I am not sure if you need to keep a strict meter, in this case, but I think that it is close enough, considering that it is a complicated rhyme scheme. Not a romantic or pleasing theme, but certainly a worthy one.
Nicely done! P.S. I don't know if it has occurred to you, but the Not actively editing, seems to indicate that you are not going to take advice and do any edit? ~ Geezer.
.
Ruby Lord
1 year 11 months ago
The rhyming scheme is
The rhyming scheme is different and I haven't seen this format before, I like it. What you lack in punctuation, your story makes up for. It's a difficult topic to write about but you have delivered us a journey that for any service professional must be an impossible path to take. Well done, Ruby :)