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This poem is part of the contest:

08/25 Bitter Fruit

(Read More...)

A Bitter Fruit...

And revenge is such a bitter fruit,
when there's nothing left to gain.
Rebuke, might be your silence,
it should be a sweet refrain.

The satisfaction of being right,
is much better left unsaid,
I think I'll trade it for a place to rent,
that space inside your head.

About This Poem

Style/Type: Structured: Western

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - draft

About the Author

Region, Country: New York State - USA, USA

Favorite Poets: Poe, Emily Dickenson, Robert Frost, Shakespeare, and many of the poets here at Neopoet.

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Comments

neopoet

neopoet

1 month 2 weeks ago

Neopoet AI (premium) [2025-04]

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet’s AI:

The poem employs the metaphor of "bitter fruit" to characterize revenge, establishing a tone of reflection and restraint. The opening lines set up a contrast between the emptiness of revenge and the potential value of silence, suggesting that withholding rebuke can be more rewarding than expressing it. The phrase "it should be a sweet refrain" introduces a musical metaphor, though the antecedent of "it" could be clarified—presumably, it refers to silence, but the syntax leaves room for ambiguity.

The second stanza shifts to the idea of "the satisfaction of being right," which is described as "better left unsaid." This continues the theme of self-restraint and the possible hollowness of vindication. The line "I think I'll trade it for a place to rent, / that space inside your head" introduces a colloquial, almost playful tone, contrasting with the more formal diction of the previous lines. This shift could be interpreted as undercutting the poem’s earlier seriousness, or as a deliberate move to highlight the speaker's self-awareness.

The poem’s structure is consistent, with two quatrains and a regular rhythm, though the rhyme is subtle and not strictly maintained. The imagery relies on familiar idioms—"bitter fruit," "space inside your head"—which may limit the originality of the poem’s language but also makes the poem accessible.

Overall, the poem explores the emotional cost of revenge and the value of restraint, though the closing lines introduce a slightly ironic twist that complicates the speaker's stance. The poem could benefit from clarifying the referents in the first stanza and considering whether the tonal shift in the second stanza serves the poem’s thematic goals.

Please send feedback about Neo (our AI critique system) to neopoet.com/contact

Geezer

Geezer

1 month 2 weeks ago

Thank you...

Clentin, I am glad that you liked this one. I thought that you might appreciate it, as it feels like something that you might write. ~ Geez.

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Lavender

Lavender

1 month 2 weeks ago

Bitter Fruit

Hello, Geezer!

This makes me grin! Love it! Sweet and salty!  (or sour, I reckon!)

L

Geezer

Geezer

1 month 2 weeks ago

Any time...

I can get a smile, [let alone a grin] from you, it makes it worth my time. Thank you for your read and comments, they always make me smile [grin]. ~ Geez.

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Lavender

Lavender

1 month 2 weeks ago

I'm back...

I may just print this out and carry it with me - use its wisdom when needed.  :)

L

Geezer

Geezer

1 month 2 weeks ago

Whoa...

never considered myself to be a wiseman, I am extremely flattered. Thank you much for an honor I will always remember. ~ Geez.

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Candlewitch

Candlewitch

1 month 1 week ago

Dear Sir Gee,

I loved the psychology behind this poem. But... You are truly EVIL, and must be destroyed!!! Great Poem! I told Steven that he must read!!!

love ya, Cat 

Geezer

Geezer

1 month 1 week ago

Thank you...

my dear, your comments are always welcome, you and Steven are some of my favorite people, you always give good critique and comments, which let me know that you really read and understood what I was trying to convey. EVIL? Destroyed? I certainly hope not. Love you too, ~ Geez.

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