Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
The Bitter Pill
If ignorance is a disease,
don't let it fester!
Swallow the bitter pill of truth
dispell the false praises.
The honey-sweet lies given
to stroke your pride,
the poison that you took
to feed your self-indulgence
will not make you wiser.
It is halting you from becoming
the man that you must be,
one who deserves acknowledgement,
someone who is willing to strive
in the process of learning,
a man who has faced honesty
with such humiity that he benefits
from the experience
About This Poem
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - draft
Comments
raj
10 years 2 months ago
Good one Alid
Good one Alid
alidzain
10 years 2 months ago
Thanks, Raj
for the comment and visit.
Alid
Sparrow
10 years 2 months ago
Alid
As Raj said this was a short truth of things and well written,
Yours as always, Ian
alidzain
10 years 2 months ago
Hello Ian
thanks for the comment and visit.
Alid
wesley snow
10 years 2 months ago
Just not enough Alid here.
Too small for such a subject. Still, the language use is up to standard.
alidzain
10 years 2 months ago
Hi Wes
still trying to improve on this one. What do you think about the new edits?
Alid
wesley snow
10 years 2 months ago
A little more fleshed out.
Better. Watch your line length. Some are considerably longer than the poem in general. Even in verso libre consistency is important.