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Sep 13, 2019
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Black Head Verses White Head Composition
at first a small bump underneath the chin
take a pill to drawn out my friend
then a volcanic splash that nearly kicks my ass
Black head smiles back at the scene
Whiter head approaches fine
About This Poem
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Pugilist
5 years 10 months ago
So
I am not certain what you want to say here. If it's just biological, okay. If it's something else, I am not seeing it.
A couple of things:
1) Capitalization - It's inconsistent and, as such, I am not understanding why the last two lines are capitalized and nothing else is
2) Punctuation - while I am not a fan of a lack of punctuation, you are consistent here. That matters