blessed by angels twice

I was unmasked by insecurity
when first faced with your purity
now aware that wind swept lullaby's
cradled promise untold, always
nurtured never scold.

with anxious delegation watching
you both unfold, kissing your little
fingers and toes, now standing on
your own two feet first memories of
this still so sweet, this I remember
so time will never delete.

precious years pass as the clock
tick tock ticks, you've grown so tall
from small finding it hard to stand
aside when steps lead to strides
taking five to summarise.

my pride, my flesh such joy
no one else compares eternally
snared a love divided shared.

About This Poem

Last Few Words: this was written for my two daughters Laura 12 , Rachel 11,

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism

Editing Stage: Editing - draft

About the Author

Country/Region: IRL

Comments

Roscoe Lane

14 years 5 months ago

My friend,

My friend this is beautiful poem, your girls are lucky to have such a caring father, I can only critique your title, as i'm sure you mean angels. Regards Roscoe...

ziggy

14 years 5 months ago

hi there

cheers for the comment , big oops I can't believe I got that wrong
In a rush as always lol , fixed now thank you my kids are my everything
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,zigs

ziggy

14 years 5 months ago

hi again

hi your happy face is always welcome to my corner
I am trilled you think this is OK, this left me with a tear also
and thank you for the thumbs up on this as I wanted to get
it right for obvious reasons , they are my everything cheers have
a good weekend ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,zigs xx

lou

14 years 5 months ago

Ziggy

Created with love and great depth of feeling

Love Lou

ziggy

14 years 5 months ago

hi louise

hi there thank you for the comment
my kids are everything to me ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,zigs

ziggy

14 years 5 months ago

hi jayne

WOw I was not expecting a comment like that thank you my dear
I wrote this mts ago and was looking through my list of one's I
have not posted yet thank you ,,,,,,,,,zigs x

Hooded Stranger

14 years 5 months ago

Ziggy

Ziggy,

some say I shouldn't use certain words when commenting...but this is 'beautiful'.

It is dufficult to critique something when clearly so close to your heart. I know how dear your girls are to you and how badly you miss them.

I really liked the rhyming sequence you've added. Rhyme can cheapen a poem, but not in this case.

I will follow in line with Jayne with an applause and a bow.

ziggy

14 years 5 months ago

hi hood

yes what some say lol I don't give a hoot what ,,,,,,,,lol
thank you hood folk are welcome to crit the words but
not the theme, I miss the kids when I don't see them but
I do see them every other day , cheers for stopping bye ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,zigs