Blood on the Snow

Cat,

the shortness of this piece is what makes the impact. There is so much that can be imagined here: the why, why, how...etc.

You have given nothing away and that secrecy makes it so intriguing.

I have never heard the expression 'gun blue eyes'...but I think the gun could be an important part of the write so I wouldn't change it.

One suggestion, how about:

Locked 'IN' a moment, rather than locked 'ON' a moment. I only say that because you've used the 'ON' in the title already. I suppose then you could consider leaving that line and changing the title to Blood 'IN' the snow?

Just thoughts.

Short and punchy and leaves me with a vivid image of dark red blood in/on the pure driven snow.

regards,

HS

in my opinion "lingering sorrow" is a king pin in this masterpiece which holds the rest of the pieces so wonderfully....

always a learning experience to read your poems...

warmly..

I bow to your talent, if only I had a fraction of what you possess. A fantastic poem.

Lou

I read this as a frozen moment in time:
It isn't entirely clear, and that may be intentional, but this appears to be a metaphorical reference intertwined with more physical imagery.
The imagery of the spreading blood red stain on white snow is very graphically dramatic.
Very beautifully executed, overall.
Psyve

Blood on the snow.....few images are as starkly naked with emotion.

Well done, Cat! And I like *as a moment frozen in time*, Psyve. It's a full stop moment for me.... one that draws me into that silence.

~A

you just have a way of taking something so beautiful as a flower and showing it's death as a tragedy and comparing it to the loss of human life. the flower lives in its own world, but you bring it into ours like an equal and we mourn its death as one of our own family. nothing is more graphic then blood red stained snow, because the imagination sees the saddnes in it.
a superb write as usual.
Always Eddie