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Mar 10, 2025
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Blue Nights
The sun set a few minutes ago
But somehow as I stare at this purplish horizon
I get this strange feeling
That the story is just beginning
If I could have a minute of your time
I'd tell you of the darkness I befriended
For in it I came to discover
Jewels as bright as diamonds
Sometimes I walk out after midnight
And I feast my eyes upon a sleeping world
Somehow in that grave silence
My heart seems to find
What it had searched for all day
I don't know if it's just the beauty
Of the moon and the stars
Or if it's the deathly quiet
Of a sleeping world
Or the cool midnight breeze
That seems to blow
Right across my broken heart
But then for the first time it seems
That I can breathe again
My shoulders feel lighter
And that heavy emptiness
That I seem to carry with me all day
Finds a crack to hide in
For a little while
It's on these moments that I think
That maybe I'm lucky to be broken
Because I get this strange feeling
That this is one of those things
Only the broken can understand
A. SWANTALALA
About This Poem
Review Request Direction:
How was my language use?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
neopoet
3 months 2 weeks ago
Neopoet AI - version 2.0
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
The poem "Blue Nights" evokes a sense of introspection and finding solace in the darkness and stillness of the night. The imagery of the purplish horizon, the sleeping world after midnight, and the cool midnight breeze creates a vivid atmosphere for the reader.
One suggestion for improvement could be to further develop the theme or message of the poem. While the imagery and emotions are well-crafted, providing more clarity on the significance of finding solace in the night and being "lucky to be broken" could enhance the depth of the poem. Additionally, considering the structure and flow of the poem to ensure a consistent rhythm throughout could strengthen the overall impact on the reader.
Overall, "Blue Nights" is a reflective piece that captures the beauty and peace found in moments of solitude during the night. Expanding on the central themes and refining the structure could further elevate the poem's impact on the reader.
Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact