Esker

Apr 28, 2011 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

BLUSH

you brush me with your tenderlust
trust
held with ring shinning fingers
and dazzle nails gleaming
like moist paint

breath against me in sigh
punctuation
how I love the slow commas

warm like lantern lamps
on oilskin table tops
and hemp rope held
tarpaulin rooms

I follow the curve of your
hip delved with mystery
the smooth plain
of stomach and then
the foothill ribcage
the hill of breast

we sweep like sable
brush the archeology of
souls
swimming in the dust
of our short histories
gathering in climax
fingerlings of taste
and exclamatory exclusions
of intimacy

drenched and sated
our oasis
we breathe
like vapours
pooling visions
in wet eyes
and tired thighs

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: north ontario, CAN

Favorite Poets: Klo , .., Ida, .., Rhiannon1010, .., Pleiades, .., Valryianne, .., Ester, .., Stephanie, .., Emina Smajevic, ..., Elefentee, ..., Sommer Lyn, ..., Jasmine, ..., Rula, ...

Comments

Geezer

14 years 2 months ago

It's so good...

to see you in such great form. I like the short lines, that give the gist of the thought. Only crit. is the spelling of shining. Seems as though you are back to your old self. Making pictures that I can follow in my head. ~ Gee

Esker

14 years 2 months ago

Old selves

Thank You Geezer sometimes I wander off trying new dimensionative form
of written writing shinning or shining english was not a strong point
only because I think I just refused to conform to learning but scooping
the fast "gist" of it as you say but some of the writing does flow in the
format I have been here for awhile at this sight and another
both sites off much for free form writing for me
if I try very hard I can probably do other forms
but Im a tad lazy Im glad though that pictures in the head work
for this is Pictograph moments isnt it making form with words
..

raj

14 years 2 months ago

Esker

for me it was a treat to read this one..to me it was more like looking at a scripture...

just a wee bit of suggestion...how about changing ..

like moist paint
to
like moist pearls

Esker

14 years 2 months ago

Pearls

this word would work very well
and add to the sensual visual flow
rather then the vivid image of "paint"
or gloss even which still describes
pearls I remember the freshwater
pearls and the rare moment of
seeing a real sea pearl

thank you

raj

14 years 2 months ago

you are spot on about "moist

you are spot on about "moist pearls" adding a sensual effect...that's precisely the reason of my suggestion..

Nordic cloud

14 years 2 months ago

Oh wonderful dear Steven

Who couldn't melt at these words?
Its all wonderful.

Love to you from Ann

CCfire

14 years 2 months ago

It's tough

to write about sensuality in an original way but you have done that here. I can only see one thing that needs fixing which is the spelling of 'shining' you have an extra 'n' there. :) This builds like the crescendo in music and at the end you are breathless but satisfied.

Esker

14 years 2 months ago

work shoppe

first time Ive really looked at the work end of all this poetry
but amazing I like the work and consideration gone
into this Thank You for your help! a grateful Esker!