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Mar 23, 2026
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bones and all
Its nice to think i wont break
The second someone takes away
All i made a part of me
To be left with the bones
And the soul that so generously carries them
the soul whose used to the weight
Of all the extra words and names, and words for names and rhymes for words and names for rhymes and the melodies that put them all together
like we feel heavier when it rains
I feel heavier to know there’s love
where is the man at the train awaiting my arrival?
has he seen my bones and all
If so, did he stay?
or did he think to stay
until someone got off at the station before me
I want the weight back
I hate the thought of my skin blanketed around my ankles
for the all the bachelors to gaze at
arguing if whats beneath is pretty
while all im thinking is
I want the weight back
If my soul can carry it
Then i want it back
About This Poem
Last Few Words: inspired by a movie i watched this is an old draft from 2023 i think themes: longing, self esteem, fear
Review Request Direction: How does this theme appeal to you?
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Lavender
3 weeks 6 days ago
bones and all
Hello, Leo!
Really enjoyed the flow of this piece. I can feel the tension in the narrator's thoughts. So much adds to the anxiety, the prospect of the man waiting at the station, the heavy eyes of all the bachelors - a great touch.
I'm wondering if all lower case would help it flow a bit smoother, or use caps in the appropriate places only. I believe, if I'm interpreting correctly, it should be "... the soul who's used to the weight..."
Wonderful title!
Thank you!
L