Depressed 1

Jul 20, 2022 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

This poem is part of the contest:

Neopoem Of The Week July 17th through July 23 2022

(Read More...)

The Box

The box is getting smaller, the walls are closing in

They are getting closer than they have ever been

I will be discovered and then what will I do

It is way to late now for me to start anew

Their eyes are getting open they now can see

All of the cracks that I thought I hid so cleverly

I am getting more dumb or they are getting smart

They are starting to see right through my broken heart

Life is not fair and I know it was never meant to be

Life is just an atrocity of day after day monstrosities

They will take all I have, they will take my last dollar

They will just laugh at me as the box gets smaller

About This Poem

Last Few Words: These are a few words that came to me last night.

Style/Type: Structured: Western

Review Request Intensity: Please use care (this is a sensitive subject for me, do not critique harshly)

Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Southwest United States, USA

Favorite Poets: Edgar Allen Poe, Jim Morrison, Sylvia Plath

Comments

Candlewitch

2 years 11 months ago

hello again!

I like your poem of fear and apprehension. these are my favorite lines, be cause I often feel this way:

they are starting to see right through my broken heart
Life is not fair and I know it was never meant to be
Life is just an atrocity of day after day monstrosities

*Hugs, Cat

Depressed 1

2 years 11 months ago

Thanks Cat

These are just feelings I have come to me more and more recently.

Rosewood Apothecary

2 years 11 months ago

I’m seeing some things that would make it tighter and f you’d like me to have at it. Small tweaks. I’m asking before I get in there because we are new friends and I’m sensitive around these subjects. It’s personal for me.

It’s a great poem,
Tim

Depressed 1

2 years 11 months ago

Thanks Tim

I appreciate the offer Tim but I really just write what comes in my head the way it comes just to get rid of the thoughts, if that makes sense.

Rosewood Apothecary

2 years 11 months ago

It makes sense

Perfect sense

RoseBlack

2 years 11 months ago

Hello

This poem spoke to me on elevated levels. These matters are personal to me as well. It was brave and expressive, well written. Your choice of language and flow fit well. Very well done.

Depressed 1

2 years 11 months ago

Thanks Rose

As always I appreciate it. As B.B King once said, "write what you know."