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Breathless (senryu)

...drowning in deep love
breathless anticipation
suspended in hope.

About This Poem

Last Few Words: This is my first attempt at a senryu. I am hoping to enter competitions using this form and Sedoka.

Style/Type: Structured: Eastern

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How does this theme appeal to you?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Not actively editing

About the Author

Country/Region: christian United Kingdom

More from this author

Comments

Dooreen Cash

Dooreen Cash

7 years 10 months ago

Breathless - senyru

Hi Mark
Pleases to meet you. Blown away with your comment. honoured you made it a favourite! I can see by your work you are a great writer I left a comment on your last piece! Brilliant!

Barbara Writes

Barbara Writes

7 years 10 months ago

Hi wonder senyru

Nothing to critique here. I have a renga workshop you might like to join
Clink the link in my signature and check it out

Dooreen Cash

Dooreen Cash

7 years 10 months ago

Breathless - senyru

Thank you Barbara. I am on my way to renga! I am, however, writing for competition at the moment, looking for direction, on where to go for critique. Poem in first draft. It will be a Stanza. Can you help guide me to the correct workshop for this, or do I just post to stream?

Barbara Writes

Barbara Writes

7 years 10 months ago

Post to stream

There are several workshops you can join and and get valuable critique. mines is one of several types and styles of poetry writing you can hone your skills with